


A Lady's Gotta Eat

by GrizzlyBee



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Breakfast, Cooking, Gen, THE DYNAMIC, eggs as a plot device, if you can call this plot, literally i just want juno and vespa to interact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28767159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrizzlyBee/pseuds/GrizzlyBee
Summary: It was a very atypical morning on the Carte Blanche, which is to say, Juno and Vespa were the only ones on the ship. It was also a very typical morning, which is to say, the girls were fighting.
Relationships: Vespa Ilkay & Juno Steel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	A Lady's Gotta Eat

It was a very atypical morning on the Carte Blanche, which is to say, Juno and Vespa were the only ones on the ship. It was also a very typical morning, which is to say, the girls were fighting.

The rest of the crew were all out on various missions, supply runs, doing research, or in Buddy and Ransom’s case, finding the best disguises out there. Of course this isn’t about the rest of the crew, that would be a far more interesting story, this is about the aforementioned duo in a dispute. 

“Get the fuck out of my way Vespa!” Juno shouted, as though the fridge he was barred from reaching held the key to his survival, that he'd die without it. This of course was true, but on a much smaller, much less significant level. 

“Well maybe if your head weren’t so big you’d fit Steel!” The doctor said this with all of the venom she could muster, and it was a lot. She of course was looking for some eggs, which is funny because, so was Juno. Maybe if either of them would just say something, this meaningless squabble could be squashed.

None of this matters either way, because neither of them were really invested in this made up scuffle over kitchen space, they just needed something to do. With their respective partners gone about town, they were, for lack of a better word, lonely. 

You see even if he didn’t know it himself, when Juno said, ‘Get the fuck out of my way Vespa!’ what he meant was, ‘I really miss my boyfriend’. He only really had one mode of communication when it came to Vespa, and it was shouting. 

Now, when Vespa said, ‘Well maybe if your head weren’t so big you’d fit Steel!’ she meant, ‘I understand, I miss my girlfriend just as much’... Kidding, she meant ‘Well maybe if your head weren’t so big you’d fit Steel!’ and she stood by It. She was dead set on making some good fried eggs, and no idiot detective was going to ruin that for her. If she couldn’t be with Buddy, she would partake in other creature comforts, like delicious breakfasts. 

Juno, left with no other option but to cross his arms petulantly and wait, crossed his arms petulantly and waited, grumbling under his breath about eggs and ‘goddamned respect’. He also noticed very quickly that he and Vespa had the same goal, which caused him to grumble even more. 

Simultaneously Vespa was cracking, frying, and flipping eggs like she was born to do it. Some skills are transferable, exactly which of her doctoring or assassining skills were at play here was a mystery however. She was going to start on the bacon when she gave Juno a look, a look that said, ‘If you want some eggs I’ll make ya some eggs, I don't need ya complainin’ all day just cause I wouldn’t make ya breakfast. Also you’re a real idiot, and I still don’t like you’. The look really said all that. 

In response Juno shrugged. 

Vespa wordlessly cracked two more eggs into her pan. She cooked her bacon to perfection, and made the toast just the right amount of crispy. When she went to plate the meals she said, “Don’t ever tell anyone I’ve never done anything for you, it ain’t true,” and put the eggs and bacon into little smiley faces. She put a piece of toast over one of Juno’s eggs like an eye patch. She thought it was pretty funny. 

After that they sat at the kitchen table, enjoying each other's company, but not enjoying it too much. They thought about their significant others, they thought about streams they hadn’t watched, quietly, of course. And all was well and quiet until lunchtime came around.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 15 minutes, and decided it was good enough to see the light of day. I hope you enjoyed it! This is the first fic I've ever written, point blank, period, so I'd love to know how ya feel about it! Kudos and comments appreciated <3


End file.
